Maderville

Heavy heart

I just thought this week was going to be crazy. I had no idea what was in store for me and it's only Tuesday. I took Landry to the doctor yesterday and ended up making an appointment for the ENT on her birthday. We are going to see if she needs tubes in her ears. I am in the midst of planning and executing her birthday party and I am a little under the weather my self. I learned last night that very close friend of mine has a sister who was raped by three men after leaving a convenience store. She was minding her own business and leaving the store when they attacked her. They beat her up pretty badly and to add insult to this terrible injury they did it in her vehicle so it was impounded for evidence and now she is without a vehicle. It made my heart hurt and fearful thinking about this world and the sick people in it. How does something like this happen in the world I live in? How will I protect my child from monsters like this? Please pray for her and her family and the road she has to face.

After a long, hard night of thinking and reflecting, I woke up this morning to find out that a wonderful person that I dearly love was killed in an automobile accident last night. She was traveling to pick up her boyfriend to take him to the hospital and she was killed. Pam was also the Mader family hair stylist. She just gave Landry her first haircut in October. She was one of the hostesses at my baby shower last year and when I was pregnant with Sophie and on bed rest, she came to me and cut my hair at home. She did my hair for the funeral because I physically and emotionally couldn't do it. She cut my hair both times I donated it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths and donated a service any time I needed something for a fundraiser. She's been around for so long that there is no telling how many people she knows and will be missed by. Mike just had his hair cut 4 days ago and he came home telling me how happy she was. She has a daughter that had finished college and was getting married and one that was a sophomore in high school. As a single mother, she was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and that the countless days and nights of hard work were paying off. I am going to miss her. I mean really, really miss her. My heart hurts in a way it hasn't in a long time. It reminds me of the hurt that I feel when I really think about my mother and Sophie. I was hoping I never had to feel that feeling again. I thought I was done with that kind of pain but here it is. Even if it is very different, it is still the same. How can I explain that? She was a kind and generous soul and her heart was bigger than her smile. She was a great mother, friend and of course, stylist. I pray for her girls and that they have peace about this one day. I pray that same thing for myself but I know it is going to be a while. I don't know if it will ever make sense but I do know that she is with God and that is the only comfort I can find in any of this. This is one of the pictures I had printed for her to give her with her Christmas present. I never dreamed that taking these photos would be as equally important for her as they are of Landry but now they are. Rest in Peace, my friend. Give a kiss to my other girl and know that we will meet again one day.