Year End Wrap-up!
Well, little Bug, this is the last post of your 1st full year and the last page of your baby book. It has given me so much pleasure sharing you with the world. One of my greatest joys has been journaling all of your firsts for those we love and being able to have these experiences written down for you to have one day. I never thought it would have turned out to be such a wonderful thing for me! I am trusting that by the way you look for me, reach for me and seek comfort in me that you know how much I love you. I am your Mother and it is the best job I have ever had. Thank you for being such a great boss.

I got this booklet for my birthday from your Aunt Rhonda and it is called "Remember When". It has all of the prices of things from the year I was born. I did a little research and the first number is from 1970(the year your Mama was born) and the next number was from 2007, your birth year. A lot has changed since I was born...


Gallon of milk: $1.32/$3.50
Gallon of gas: 36cents/$3
Loaf of bread: 24cents/$2.50
Dozen eggs: 42cents/ 1.85Movie Ticket: $1.50/$7.50
College Education: Public: $323/ Private: $1,533/ Public: $6,185 Private: $23,712
Tuition at Harvard: $2,400/$31,456
House: $23,400/$300,000 by year end
New Car: $3979/$28,000
Babysitter: 75cents-$1.00/ $10 per hour (over 18)
Postage Stamp: 6cents/41cents for a first class stamp


I hope you love this book as much as I have had putting it together for you. I love you so very much, my sweet angel. I pray that this year is every indication of what we have to look forward to in the years to come. If it is half as wonderful as this year has been, we have a long happy life to look forward to.

From Daddy

Happy New Year, Buggins!

You will never know how great you made 2008. Thank you for coming into our life and thank you for being such a wonderful child!

Other things I am thankful for:

Whenever you say “Daddy”
Whenever you say “Uh-oh…”
How healthy you are
Such a wonderful wife and mother. She has worked with you so much!
Your sometimes stubborn attitude. This morning, you kept standing up in your “big girl” chair. I would ask you to sit down and you wouldn’t….until I started to walk over to you. As soon as I turned back around, you would pop up again – this time with a giggle and a big smile…very hard to get angry with you.
How you love to make a mess. You will walk over to your toy box and pull everything off of it, spread all the books and toys across the floor, and then go back to playing with something that was already out…..I guess you just like to design the room your way.
How you hate to be confined (in your car seat, in the crib, and sometimes in our arms).
The sign language Renee has taught you. It is so cute when you ask for milk, or a bath, or a diaper change….
How you are so friendly to everybody, and not shy in the least.

Landry, it has been a great 2008! I don’t know how many times Renee and I have looked at each other and said “Four years ago, would you have ever thought we would be (talking baby talk, changing diapers, having fun giving you a bath, spending time doing whatever instead of golfing, sleeping or whatever, etc., etc., etc…..)” and being so glad we were doing it instead of those other things!! I love you with all of my heart….I can’t wait to see the changes that 2009 bring!

A song you’ve heard a million times from me already (especially when you are screaming in your car seat):

My buggins, my buggins
Shore is a pretty girl
My buggins, my buggins
Prettiest in the world
When she goes walking down the street
She says hello to everyone she meets!
She’s my buggins
My buggins
Prettiest in the world!

Happy New Year Bug! Can’t wait to see what happens next!

Love,

Daddy

Potty Time!
I know it's New Years Eve and we should be celebrating the coming year but today I had something far more important than the future. I had the NOW to celebrate! Since Landry astounded me with the whole diaper bag/diaper sign thing, I decided that I would go ahead and get her a potty so we could see if she was interested in trying to potty train. I know it is very early but I was completely potty trained by the time I was 17 months old. In most Asian countries, it is a standard practice to start potty training not long after birth! I thought about it before she was born but I digressed.
Right now, I am just introducing it to her and showing how 'exciting' it is. I took her to the potty this morning and took her diaper off. I told her that we were going to sit on the potty and I asked her 'Can you pee pee on the potty?!' Before I could get her diaper completely off, she started to potty and I immediately plopped her on it. I could NOT believe what I was seeing! I clapped and Oh, how I praised her! She knew she had done something really big. I don't know if she really caught on but she will. Hopefully sooner than later. If I am still telling you stories about her potty training a year from now, don't laugh at me. I certainly think it will be worth the effort if she follows in her Mama's footsteps. Isn't it amazing how this image can make a grown woman feel like she won the lottery?! Only a Mama.....

ps...Did I mention that she is only 1 year and 3 weeks old?!

Flashback!

I meant to post this funny picture a while back and I let it slip by. This was taken in a photobooth at the wedding I shot with the one and only Joe Photo when I was in Vegas. I had so much fun and learned so much that day. It was an experience I won't soon forget. In the pic was ME, Joe(crown), Nick Adams(another fabulous photographer and donning the wig) and two great ladies from the Bellagio that were in charge of catering for the event. The food was fabulous by the way!

Kelley B!

Kelley is here with us this week and are we happy! I love having her come for a visit. I see her more than I do most of my family. I was looking back at all of the pictures of her with Landry and they are some of my absolute favorite photos. She bought Landry an American Doll Bitty Baby for Christmas and a highchair for her new doll. This kid is so rotten and when she started this weird whiny cry the other day, Kelley coined the term ROTTEN CRY. It's funny how you learn how to decipher the real cries from the fake ones. Landry had better watch out because she won't be able to cry wolf like she used to!

Penguins Everywhere!
I will admit that while I had a fairly normal childhood, it was far from the Norman Rockwell painting of Christmas. We didn't have a lot of money but there was always presents and plenty of food. I feel very fortunate in that we can give Landry a different picture of the holiday. Maybe a little less stress financially and a little more freedom to create traditions that will be meaningful for her one day. One of the first traditions was that I would like for all of us to have matching pajamas for Christmas morning. I made all of us cute little pants with penguins and shirts with our first initials on them. Even Bella had a matching bandanna! I will have to give Mike a GREAT deal of credit for going along with my plan. He didn't even put up a fight. What a guy! As you look through the video, you will probably notice that there is not a real posey posey picture in the bunch. It wasn't for lack of trying but we finally gave in. One or more of the
Maders just didn't cooperate in any of the many tries but we got some cute ones any way. I want to always make cookies for Santa, make a gingerbread house, have an Elf on a Shelf and ALWAYS wake up at our own home on Christmas Day. These are just a few of the traditions that I want to share with her and I am sure we will create many more. As usual, Mike went all out for me and little Miss Landry just had a big time unwrapping all of those presents! In one of the photos, Mike wanted to stack up all her loot and put her on the top of the stack. It was as tall as he is!
We woke up kind of late and Mike cooked us breakfast. We got the camera set up, moved the coffee table around and got ready for the mania. We didn't even get going until around 10am! I know it won't be like that for a long, long time so it was nice to be kind of leisurely today. After we got everything opened, I got lunch going and Mike picked his Mom up at 2pm so she could spend the afternoon with us. She never stays very long but ended up being here for about 3 hours today. A record for her! I love all of my gifts and I loved even more that we had the best gift ever in little Landry. We all looked so cute in our pajamas and as I looked through these images, I couldn't help but feel so proud of our little family. It's not Norman Rockwell by a long shot but it is our family and it's pretty darn picturesque in my eyes.

Here is a little flashback from Christmas '07...what a difference a year can make.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

My Turn!
Tonight we took Landry to the 5:30 service at church. We have always gone to the 10:30 service but starting last year we became part of the early bird crowd. Mike was an usher tonight so I sat with some friends and anxiously waited for the service to come to the point where I could go get Landry from the nursery. She was quite the entertainer. As soon as she saw her Daddy, she yelled "Daaaaddy!!!' again....and again. The congregation around us just cracked up. It was especially funny when she started dancing to one of the lively songs being sung by our choir. She just went to town gyrating around. I couldn't stop laughing at her and no one else could either. We waited to go last so we could all go as a family. Last year when we went to church, Landry was only 2 weeks old. We slipped in and out pretty fast and was only there for the sermon and communion. Right before we got ready to go to the alter, Mike said with a tear in his eye that he wanted to carry her up there. His reason took my breath away. He said that the last time he carried his daughter down the aisle, it was for another reason and he wanted to be able to carry her up there for a good one. (We were burying Sophie and he carried her casket out of the church). Of course he took our precious new baby to receive communion and it was a moment I will never forget. Tonight it was my turn and she stayed in my arms and delighted everyone around her. She smiled, waved, laughed and flirted with everyone in the room. I am telling you, she was made for show business! When we arrived up to the altar, I stood her up in front of me and like a big girl, she took communion from Father Tom and he blessed her. I was so proud of her. She ate all of her bread and acted like it was no big deal. I loved it and I loved watching her take the Lords body into her own. That was my moment closest to Christ. What a great night!

After we got her home and in the bed, Mike was doing the normal routine of cleaning and making her bottles. We have been weaning her off of the formula and gradually introducing her to whole milk. I bought her some new sippy cups that she finally decided to like so we fed her most of her bottles in the cup today. When he started to make her formula he looked up at me and got pretty choked up. He said "I guess I won't be making her bottles anymore." It really made him sad because out of all the chores that he has done for her, this is the one thing that he has taken on every night. He even made me cry! It has always just been his responsibility and he has actually enjoyed it. He has cleaned, sterilized, mixed, poured and bottled almost all of her formula since she was born. The only exceptions were the nights he was out of town and a rare night when he had something else going on. I was touched to see him so emotional about some thing that someone else may look at as a chore. I saw a Daddy missing the baby he is watching grow up before his eyes. It was a big step for her and I think an even bigger step for him. Isn't it a blessing when we can see the sweetness in something so ordinary? Tomorrow is a big day here at the Maders. We are going to be sporting our new matching Christmas pajamas and we are going to see what Santa brought the Bug...I can hardly wait!!!

Stabbin' Cabin-1 yr.
Poor Baby Buggins. She was in such a great mood this afternoon. She got to see her Daddy after a few days of missing him and within a few minutes they had pricked her finger and poked her with two shots. She cried like I have never heard her cry. It made my heart hurt to hear her so distraught. I just hate that any child has to go through it much less mine. It seems like there could be a better way to administer these things! I know every mother goes through this angst but I absolutely hate it. I'm sure no more than she does but I can't take the alligator tears.
Fortunately, after she recovered, she was in pretty good spirits. We had her laughing before we left the office so thankfully she forgot about the 3 inch needle that pierced her flesh and saturated and burned her muscle. Okay..I know I'm a little dramatic but everything I said was true, so there! She is starting to catch on too so I wonder how many more times we'll walk in there and still have a happy face. We took the office staff at our pediatricians office pizzas for Christmas. Thought it would be nice to treat them to lunch so we got there early and everyone was so sweet to her. I think she thought she was a rock star until we actually went into an examination room. Poor baby...glad we are done with the stabbin' for a little while and I am certain she is.

Diaper
Landry just shocked me...really shocked me. I was sitting on the floor with her and she was playing with her toys. I was in mid sentence with my Aunt Elaine and Landry came over dragging her diaper bag, gave me the sign for diaper and said 'diaper'. I asked her if she needed her diaper changed and she did it again! I looked and sure enough, she needed a clean-up. We all laughed at her and of course I did the happy dance with her telling her what a good girl she was. She laid down and let me tend to her clean-up. I was so surprised and happy. She is catching on to new words, ideas and concepts so fast. It's like drinking water through a fire hose. I just can't take it all in....

Wordless Wednesday...sort of
First...scroll to the bottom and turn off the music.

This one is for all of my fellow Alabama fans. Despite growing up in Mississippi, she will be schooled in the finer points of being a true Alabama (and Southern Miss) fan. And as Landry puts it....Whooooa Tide!

I didn't even cry!
I cannot tell you how absolutely impressed I am with Blair E. Batson Children's Hospital. Despite having to get up at the crack of dawn to take our baby to have a surgical procedure, it was a very pleasant experience from the standpoint of care. I was so happy to see that the facilities were so nice and state of the art. Every one from the surgeon to the check-in person was simply spectacular. I have always been a supporter of the hospital donating money or participating in fund raisers whenever I could and now I know first hand that the effort and money is well spent. I hope I never have to go back there but if I do, I will know that we are in great hands. I could not be more pleased with how well our little Buggins did. She was VERY hungry by the time they took her away at 8am. She did not like having her blood pressure taken as I think she is starting to think it is a precursor to a shot but for the most part, she was a champ. She even learned what a frog says because there was a picture of a frog on the wall and I asked her what a frog says and even though she was crying at the time, she said 'Wibbit, wibbit'. I just melted. She was so cute. She is learning so much and adding words every day to her vocabulary. People can't believe how smart she is for her age. I constantly stay in a state of awe at what a wonderful child we have.
Dr. Reed said that she had quite a bit of fluid and he sucked out a lot of 'butter' as he called it. He said her hearing should improve greatly although we never noticed that she was lacking in that area at all. When I got home with her, she and I passed out for a few hours only to wake up feeling like I had been run over by a truck. I am on my way back to the doctor tomorrow to try to get rid of the crud and get our family back in to the swing of things before Christmas. Thanks to everyone who called or text me checking in on her. We felt the love and prayers around us each and every minute we were there. We are so very, very blessed to have the Lord looking over us and giving us the gifts He gives us each and every day. One of the best parts about today...Mama didn't even cry!

Prayer Please
We will be taking Landry to get her tubes tomorrow morning at 6:15. Please keep her in your prayers as she goes through this procedure. I will post an update when we get home. Thanks!

What a One-derland!
Well, I know a little girl who had one heck of a 1st birthday party! It was so beautiful and so much fun. When our party goers arrived they walked up to a beautiful snowman that they could have their picture taken with. This special treat was hand made by her Paw Paw and Momo Barnhart. It was so much better than I dreamed it would be! When you came to the front door you walked through a forest of snow white trees adorned with snowflakes containing pictures of Landry's first year. There were 100 images from her sonogram to her Christmas card. It was so much fun looking choosing the right images for her trees. It was hard to only stick to 100 when I have 1000's to choose from. As you walked inside you grabbed a special scarf because the forecast for the BRRRthday party was cold and chilly. Inside there were glittery, sparkly snowflakes everywhere. She had 2 very special cakes....one was a Snow Castle that was made by my new favorite cake artist, Kelly Headley. I absolutely loved it! I have always thought that her 'smush em' up cake' should be homemade so the other one was a little pink creation of my very own. I spent Friday evening dying icing, making a rectangle cake into small round circles. I iced it up and placed it on the personalized birthday plate her Aunt Rhonda and Aunt Robin bought for her. In between party prep and cake construction, I also put the number 1 on the birthday girls shirt for her party. She looked so cute in her metallic pink ballerina slippers and her tutu. She even wore her hat for quite a while! I thought it would be fun to have a 'snowball' fight so I bought some Insta Snow and let the kids make some snow. If you've never seen it, check it out because it really was a lot of fun for everyone. We had a blast and it was really fun to watch. Afterwards, I let the kids help me open up Landry's presents. That kid made out like a bandit! She got a few cute outfits, a learning purse, a Curious George monkey and book, a Whirly Bug(so cute!), a big girl chair from Pottery Barn, a princess bear, a bank, a Tonka truck...yep, you read right and I love it!, a school bus, a puzzle and several books. There were too many more gifts to list but she will not be bored for sure! Next, we moved on to the cake cutting. She had looked so cute as I stripped her down to her tutu and we sang Happy Birthday to her. She wasn't too sure about the cake but she have a taste of it. All in all, it was great success and she had a beautiful birthday party. We had about 55 people there so I think that is quite a testament to how loved she is. I cannot even begin to tell you how blessed we felt to have so many of our closest friends with us to celebrate Landry's birthday. It is a day we won't soon forget. Thanks to all of you for being a part of it!

An Open Letter to Landry

My Dearest Landry,

I never thought that I would ever know the joy that you have given me. It seems like only yesterday that my heart was forever broken and that it would never feel this kind of love again. Then on May 7th at about 3pm, my life changed forever. I loved again...I loved you, my precious child. I was sick as I could possibly be arriving home from my trip to Vietnam and I just thought it was a bug...little did I know it was THE Bug! I had a sneaky suspicion that something was different and I went in and took a pregnancy test that I just happened to have in the cabinet. It was inconclusive so I asked your Daddy to please go get me some crackers and 2 more pregnancy tests. He had this puzzled look on his face and asked WHY!!???. I said ' Because this one didn't tell me what I wanted to know' holding it up for him to see. He bolted out of the house and was back within 20 minutes. I took the test and sat it on the bathroom counter and we both just sat there and stared at it. When the word 'Pregnant' popped up in the little screen, we were stunned. Totally and completely stunned. We laughed and we cried and we were so overjoyed because we had stopped trying to get pregnant so we could go on this trip. My heart had been broken month after month trying to conceive you and I just needed to stop and refocus. I thought this trip would help keep my mind off of what my body wouldn't do. So you see, little one...you were quite the surprise. A wonderfully welcome surprise. We worried and worried about the vaccines I took before my trip and we worried about what I may have been exposed to while we were in a third world country but most of all we worried that we may have another situation with Down Syndrome. Fortunately, as the pregnancy progressed, we put our minds to rest. It certainly wouldn't have mattered but we just wanted to know. The months rolled by and with it came the nausea. Your Mama is not a good pregnant woman! I was sick for quite some time and it was that take you to your knees, felt like you were dying kind of sick. All the while, I knew that the bumps along the way would more than be rewarded. I had no idea.

When I lost your sister, I went to the cemetery every single day. It was the only thing I felt I could do for her and I knew that when her baby brother or sister came along I would not be able to do that any more. I don't regret one bit making those treks up there to visit her. It was my way of healing and being her mother because I had no other way. It seems like she was preparing me for you. I was devoted to the one thing I could do for her and that was go touch her marker every day and ring her wind chimes. I went in the cold, the rain, the blistering heat and I went on the days when I was too sick to do any thing else. I literally went every day. I am so thankful that I have you now to take care of. I know that my job is done there and if I miss a week or two not running by there, it is okay.

The day you were born, I went to the hospital to be induced at 5 am. It wasn't until 8:19pm that you made your way into this world. What a LONG day it was! I just couldn't do it. It certainly wasn't for lack of trying. I wanted to deliver you so badly but it just wasn't meant to be. Dr. Bush was there to deliver you by Cesarean section. I can't imagine any one else being my doctor. He was so good to me throughout both of my pregnancies. He was especially happy to see you, Little Miss! From the minute I heard you cry, I was completely and totally yours. I felt a love in my soul that I never knew existed and any mother out there knows exactly what I am talking about and hopefully you will too one day. It is the most pure love I have ever known. I love you without reservation or hesitation. I love you without needing to be loved back although I know with that gaze you give me that you certainly do. I love you with the kind of love that would sacrifice my life for yours. No questions, no hesitation, no thought, no payment....just as long as you are okay, I am yours. I didn't know that love existed and now thanks to you, I do.

I want to tell you a few things I have learned since I became your mother.

1. I learned that sleep is for sissies. Why sleep when you can stay up all night with a baby with reflux? I did it and I am still alive. You have been sleeping through the night with just a few exceptions since you were 3 months old. You love your sleep at night. Naps during the day...not so much but it is a good trade anyway.

2. I learned that you cannot earn Mommy of the Year by letting you fall off of the bed....twice. Thankfully, your long term memory doesn't really kick in till you are over 3 or 4.

3. I learned that once fairly fashion forward Mommies don't really care what they look like as long as you have a closet full of clothes that you may only wear once. As long as you get that rush of hearing 'Look at how cute she is!!' every so often, you can wear threadbare clothes indefinitely.

4. I learned that you cannot be frugal on certain things. Diapers being one of them. You get what you pay for and if you don't want one of those 'cute' outfits being destroyed by a blowout...spring for the good 'diapees'.

5. There is no end to the number of toys you 'HAVE TO HAVE'. If you are going to be college educated and possibly my meal ticket one day :), you must have all of the educational toys that are made by Baby Einstein, Leapfrog, Parents, Discovery Toys and of course, Fisher Price. I think that the 18-disc series of Baby Einstein was a little over kill, especially since you don't even watch TV but I was going to be prepared! Those flash cards I bought you at 3 months have continued to be one of your favorite things to play with...especially the box. Watch out Harvard...here she comes!

6. I have learned that in parenting, my way isn't always the right way...okay-yes it is but I have to give respect to the fact that your Daddy is really a good daddy. He takes care of us in every possible way and while we don't always agree with each others parenting methods, we work VERY hard to do the best we can where you are concerned. I never dreamed he would be the kind of Daddy he has become. He supports my over-the-top ways and loves you beyond measure.

7. I have also learned that there are more shades of pink than I ever imagined. NO, I mean there are a LOT of shades of pink and I think you just may have all of them.

8. Landry, I have learned from you my precious girl, that there is no measure when it comes to loving you. You made so many of my dreams come true on the day you came in to this world. I know that your happy, sweet spirit is God's reflection looking at me every time our eyes meet. I know that as much as a teacher and guide that I am supposed to be to you, that you will teach me lessons beyond my wildest imagination. You already have taught me so much about my life, the way I love and the way I see the world. You make make me a better person just by breathing. I want to close this letter to you by quoting, our dear friend Pam. Whenever she would leave to go home from work or wherever, she always said....'I want to go breath the same air as my children.' Where ever you are, I want to be. I want to shield you from life's troubles and protect you from any harm. I know that one day, you will be grown and I won't be able to safeguard you all of the time but until then, I just want to breathe the same air you breathe. Happy Birthday, my sweet child. I love you to the moon and back.....

Love,

Mama

Birthday Girl Part 2

Mike told me he was going to get Landry a birthday present and I said that I had already bought her several. He informed me that HE was going to get her a Daddy present and pretty much inferred that I needed to mind my own business...but in the nicest way possible. ;) I thought to myself...what in the world is he going to get her. Would it be an outfit...please Lord, no! Would it be a toy that she might already have under the tree? Would be some over priced gadget that she really doesn't need? NOPE....Only one of these was close to my prediction. Landry got the new Elmo LIVE! New and hot off the shelves at Babys r' us was the latest and greatest thing for the holiday season. As luck would have it, Landry has her own little holiday in December so she is really racking up. This thing, sits down, stands up, tells jokes, tells you that he fell down if he gets knocked over and even asks you to pick him back up and thanks you to boot! He hugs, blows kisses and tells you that he doesn't have any cavities. The funny thing is that while Mike and I were cracking up over this new guy, Landry was far more enamoured with the blue plastic chair he sits on. 3 people thoroughly entertained.....not a bad deal for $59.99. I'll post a video of her with it when I get a minute to breath.

Birthday Girl!
Well it wasn't the day I had envisioned but we made the most of it. We woke up this morning to a beautiful little 1 year-old baby girl. She was so cute in her footed pajamas. I just couldn't believe our little angel is already a year old. How can that be? How did this precious year go by so fast? Will her life be one big blur like this first year? Everyone seems to say so these days. I hear more often that not...'You better enjoy these years. She'll be in college before you know it!' If 2008 is any indication of how fast if flies, I better get more prepared than I was this morning. Landry fell back asleep after her morning bottle and slept until 10 am! We got up and her Daddy and I sang her happy birthday and you should have seen the look on her face. It was so funny. She seemed to enjoy it but was really confused. At 2:15 we had an appointment with ENT to see if she might need tubes and we decided together that we should go ahead and do it. Our doctor was great and made me feel very comfortable with our decision. She will go in on the 19th and have them put in. Thankfully, she will only be put to sleep for about 10 minutes...start to finish. That made me feel much better about the procedure. After we left there, we came home and got ready to go the wake of my friend, Pam. It was a nasty, nasty night and not the weather we wanted to be out in with a baby but it was something we had to do. Mike dropped Landry and me off at the door and we paid our respects. It was so hard to see her daughters cope with their loss. I pray for their healing hearts and hope they can find some peace during this holiday season. I have a video of Landry's haircut with Pam talking in it and the pictures I took that day. I am going to make them each a copy of it so they can hear their mothers voice one more time. What I wouldn't give to hear my mothers voice again. When we got home, we let Landry have her first taste of cake. It was kind of a prelude to Saturday's big bash. She wasn't too sure of it at first but after I gave her a taste of the icing, she dove right in. Isn't she a hoot?

Heavy heart

I just thought this week was going to be crazy. I had no idea what was in store for me and it's only Tuesday. I took Landry to the doctor yesterday and ended up making an appointment for the ENT on her birthday. We are going to see if she needs tubes in her ears. I am in the midst of planning and executing her birthday party and I am a little under the weather my self. I learned last night that very close friend of mine has a sister who was raped by three men after leaving a convenience store. She was minding her own business and leaving the store when they attacked her. They beat her up pretty badly and to add insult to this terrible injury they did it in her vehicle so it was impounded for evidence and now she is without a vehicle. It made my heart hurt and fearful thinking about this world and the sick people in it. How does something like this happen in the world I live in? How will I protect my child from monsters like this? Please pray for her and her family and the road she has to face.

After a long, hard night of thinking and reflecting, I woke up this morning to find out that a wonderful person that I dearly love was killed in an automobile accident last night. She was traveling to pick up her boyfriend to take him to the hospital and she was killed. Pam was also the Mader family hair stylist. She just gave Landry her first haircut in October. She was one of the hostesses at my baby shower last year and when I was pregnant with Sophie and on bed rest, she came to me and cut my hair at home. She did my hair for the funeral because I physically and emotionally couldn't do it. She cut my hair both times I donated it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths and donated a service any time I needed something for a fundraiser. She's been around for so long that there is no telling how many people she knows and will be missed by. Mike just had his hair cut 4 days ago and he came home telling me how happy she was. She has a daughter that had finished college and was getting married and one that was a sophomore in high school. As a single mother, she was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and that the countless days and nights of hard work were paying off. I am going to miss her. I mean really, really miss her. My heart hurts in a way it hasn't in a long time. It reminds me of the hurt that I feel when I really think about my mother and Sophie. I was hoping I never had to feel that feeling again. I thought I was done with that kind of pain but here it is. Even if it is very different, it is still the same. How can I explain that? She was a kind and generous soul and her heart was bigger than her smile. She was a great mother, friend and of course, stylist. I pray for her girls and that they have peace about this one day. I pray that same thing for myself but I know it is going to be a while. I don't know if it will ever make sense but I do know that she is with God and that is the only comfort I can find in any of this. This is one of the pictures I had printed for her to give her with her Christmas present. I never dreamed that taking these photos would be as equally important for her as they are of Landry but now they are. Rest in Peace, my friend. Give a kiss to my other girl and know that we will meet again one day.

The Big Easy
I have been to New Orleans more these last few months than I have ever been. I love that city to visit. There is always something to shoot and for me it gave me a renewed love for my camera. When I attended Image X back in October, I never realized how it would change my passion for my photography. Many years ago, I was a very serious about it and really thought I may do it for a living. I shot for a local newspaper, worked for a high-end wedding photographer and also worked as a freelance photographer for the Alabama AP. I shot 8 races in Talledega and also some for SEC sports. I loved every minute of it and really loved shooting sports. When I moved to Mississippi, those opportunities weren't there any more. I didn't have the money to just shoot for fun because in the day of film photography, it was a dollar with every click. Eventually my equipment was outdated and my passion wained. When I got pregnant with Sophie, I got my first Nikon digital SLR and my passion was reborn. I had such big plans to shoot away and relearn this craft. The freedom to shoot without reservation was almost overwhelming. After our loss, I just couldn't get my heart into it. Actually, made me sad to pick the darn thing up because it just reminded me what I wasn't shooting. When we were blessed with Landry, the bug hit me again. It has been a gift to do something that I love with someone I love. I have had the most incredible opportunities lately shooting with some amazing photographers. First there was the one and only Joe Photo in Vegas and this weekend I was hired by MQ Photography as a second shooter for a wedding in New Orleans. It was a beautiful wedding and with very nice reception held at the La Pavillion. This bride was in to the details and boy do I love details! I will post images in a few days when I can catch my breath. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed it but I know that my true love is children. I also shot a small wedding on Thursday before my party. How crazy has this week been! Anyway, I am back home now and getting geared up for the Buggins big day. This day comes with so much joy and a side order of heartache. I miss my little baby...oh, how I miss her. I think about each and every month that has gone by and I am forever grateful for my passion of photography. I know that when it seems like I can't remember something about her, I can always go back and look at one of the thousands of images I have already captured. I have an image of her for every week of her life and in some cases....every day. The good thing is that I rarely have to say smile.....she gives me that gift without asking.

GNO Catfight
On the first Thursday of December for the last 7 years, I have hosted a time-honored tradition at my home. It was the annual GNO ornament swap and with no exception....the cat fight commenced! This years crowd was lighter than usual but we still had a great time. At first I was little bummed that some of my friends flaked out on me, some had other obligations and others got sick but after it started, I was just thankful that we were able to be together and hoped that those who couldn't make it will be able to come again next year. All of the ornaments were FABULOUS! I ended up with a snazzy little gem for sure! It was a chandelier that I was determined to fight for and as luck and rules would have it, I GOT IT! Woo hoo!
The tree behind us in the photo is Landry and Sophie's tree. I made them a tree to put the ornaments I get for them every year. So far, they already have quite a collection. I wasn't looking for a topper but I happen to run across this Precious Moments Angel they just began making in 2006...the same year Sophie was born. She is dressed in an aoi dai, the traditional Vietnamese dress. She has wings, has black hair and brown eyes. I found it on a website that was designed to offer families of adopted children items that would reflect their heritage and ethnic background. It has dolls, ornaments and other adoption related items. I thought it was the perfect top to this special tree. I have a travel tree, the girls tree a winter wonderland tree and the BIG tree. I will post pictures soon...I promise!

All in all, we had a great time. I love my friends...I don't know what I would do without them. The girls, the food, the wine...good times, my friends. Good times.

Learning Machine
Well, I know I have already mentioned Harvard in an earlier post but I think she is really pretty smart. She is constantly learning new words and is really getting the grasp of word/object association. Last night she used her signs to tell me she wanted to take a bath. I just cracked up because that is exactly where we were headed but she didn't know it. I was following her and she went into my room and walked up to the tub and gave me the bath sign and looked up at me like.....'Come on, Mama! It's bath time.' One of her favorite things to do with Daddy is to climb his stairs to his office.....all of them. She has been doing this for about a month and still thinks it is so much fun. Her palate is getting more and more discriminating too. She is done with the baby food. It is too bland for her and she absolutely will not eat it. Tonight she ate whole wheat rotini with a little homemade spaghetti sauce, vegetables and applesauce. She still eats 4 bottles of formula a day. She's like clock work when it comes time to her milk too. She gives me the sign for milk and walks to the refrigerator and bangs on the door. It is the funniest thing I have ever seen. I will post a video of that soon but until then, she'll just have to dazzle you with her color skills. The only unfortunate thing about this video is her choice. I will just assume it is for the Madison Central Jaguars. Oh, and don't laugh at my enthusiasm for her great feats....I KNOW she didn't cure cancer in this video but she doesn't. :)

The Frenzy!
Am I just a little crazy or did I actually have a good time out there in all of the madness yesterday morning?! My friend Cerissa and I decided to trek up to the big W yesterday at 4:30 to get in on some of the deals they had. It was actually easier and more entertaining than I thought! I got almost everything on my list that was on sale and ended up knocking out most of what was left on my list in an hour and a half. I started back in June with Landry so she was already done. I did however get her just a few more things. I am afraid of what this Christmas is going to look like at the Mader house! I have waited for this for so long that my heart skips a beat just thinking about it. Next year will really be fun but I can 't wait until then so we are going to do it up anyway! We made a stop at another store and the donut shop and I was back at home asleep in my bed by 7:30. Mike was sweet enough to let me sleep in while he watched the Bug. It was a good morning all in all and I hate to admit it but I would do it again. We piddled around the house during the day and then Mike and I went to our first high school football game. It was the semi-final game and out local high school, Madison Central was 12-1. They played South Panola HS who is the 5 time reigning state champion. They played a great game and even though it was raining most of the game, we stuck it out and watched our guys get beat in last few minutes by 3 points. It was the only time in my whole life that I have ever cheered for a team wearing orange. I guess I better get used to it because the all of the schools that Landry will go to(unless we change our minds) are are orange and blue. I just don't know if I can do the combination of the two colors so I may have to just stick to one or the other! I kept looking down at all the cheerleaders and dance team wondering if Landry would one day be out there while her Mama and Daddy sat in the season ticket holder section like so many parents were. It really got me excited to think of all the fun things we have to look forward to with her. The only thing that got to us was the fact that we may look more like her grandparents than her parents. Maybe she won't be too embarrassed by the old folks. :) Go JAGS!

Thankful
The gratitude I feel for a day like today should be bottled up and given out like sunshine. I spent the day with 2 beautiful, loving families and while not 'blood' related they are very much a part of mine. Landry was the center of attention for most of the time and she just ate it up. She showed off all of her tricks and even added a few new ones. On a day like today when I couldn't be with my own family it was really nice to spend it with people who mean so much to me.
This holiday has in the past been difficult for me for many, many reasons. I was able to enjoy this holiday with a renewed sense of appreciation for what it means in my life now. The sadness that was attached to this holiday is gone now and I can't even begin to express what a weight that is off of me. Thank you to my extended family, Dave(PawPaw), Jadeen(MoMo), Matthew, Jay, the whole Barnhart clan, Julie, Jonathan, Joey, Jason, Butch, and Dot....The Mader's absolutely loved spending the day with you and feel so blessed to have you all in our lives.

My sister sent out an email today and she said that she asked that her 4 children tell what they were thankful for so they wrote a list out. It had 26 very meaningful and some very colorful answers. Here they are...

Welz Family Thank You's
1. God
2. Unicorns
3. Ladybugs
4. Health
5. Family
6. Friends
7. Earth
8. Church
9. Mommy/Dad
10. Chickens that do not bite and you can pet (Zoe-age 3)
11 Classmates
12. Home
13. Freedom
14. Enough Food
15. Flowers
16. Pumpkins
17. Babysitters
18. The Army
19. Pets
20. Music
21. Pictures
22. Dancing
23. Love
24. Silliness and laughter (Zoe too)
25. Books
26. Grace

If Landry could talk, many of the same would be on her list(especially the one about the chickens) but here is her list the order I think it would be in.
Landry's List (11 months)
1. Mommy & Daddy & God
2. Milk(formula) - 4 times a day!
3. Puffs...especially sweet potato
4. Toys with a button that play ANY kind of music
5. Bella
6. Bath time
7. Bananas
8. Being able to run...not just walk!
9. Upsy-daiseys
10. Kisses...giving, receiving and now blowing them ....mmm-wah!
11. Flash cards - learning is FUN :)
12. Lots of LOVE from Friends and Family

What's on your list?

Moving Forward...
Well, I have decided to pursue my photography passion more seriously these days and have been booking sessions for Christmas photos like crazy. I created a new blog and am working on some other things to get it off the ground. I will post the link to my photo blog in mid-December or at least not until after I know that Christmas cards have gone out. All in all, I am very pleased at what I have produced and more importantly, so have my customers.
On the Landry front.....that girl is something else. She is always so happy. I wish I could bottle that smile and sell it! She is learning so many new things and words. She can say Bella, Mama, Dada, thank you(yes, you read right), uh-oh and several others! She can use the milk sign to tell me she wants milk, blow kisses, give kisses, waves bye-bye, sometimes uses the diaper sign, hug, love the baby, give you five and even up high, she is running all over the place and can almost feed herself entirely. She still sleeps 11 hours every night with a rare exception when she wakes up and she usually goes right back to sleep. I have already written to Harvard to see if I can get her in to the early entry program. At 11 months old, she is well on her way! Yes, all that and a beauty to boot! How did a Mama get so lucky AND blessed?!

Special Request

I have a nephew that just got shipped off to Iraq a few weeks ago. They only gave him about 72 hours notice and he was off. Last year he went to Iraq and volunteered to go during the holidays so the guys that had families could stay home. He is really THAT kind of guy. Anyway, he just got married in September and he married not only a beautiful wife but two knock-out children. They are such sweet, happy children and for the first time in their lives they have had a dependable male figure in their lives. When they found out he was leaving the older one(and a boy) took it really hard. He asked if he was going to come back and it just broke every ones heart to think that he even had to ask. Mark is such a great Daddy and they absolutely love him. I was so proud to see him step into such a big role and embrace fatherhood the way he has. I don't know who is more fortunate...the kids or Mark! I think they all are. Anyway...here is where the special request comes in. They told him that he would be home for Christmas and now they are not sure. The earliest he could possibly leave is Dec. 20th. They told Gavin and Sarah that he would be home in time for Christmas and it is going to devastate him(and them) of he misses his first Christmas with them. I also understand that he is in a volatile area too so please keep my nephew and his sweet family in your prayers. Pray for God's will to be that he comes home safely first and foremost but that he also is able to spend the most blessed of days with his new wife and family. Thanks friends....

Happy Birthday to Me!
Boy, did I have a good one! Thursday night the girls took me out to Fondren Unwrapped! It is an open house in the arts district of Jackson. It is always a lot of fun. They always have a good crowd and the food and drinks are always flowing. I didn't buy anything but saw lots of good stuff. After we walked around we went to dinner at Bravo! and had a pretty much the whole place to ourselves. We really had a great time and it was so nice spending the even with some of my best girl friends. I love them all very much and we have a great sisterhood among us.
Today was my actual birthday and it started with a quick trip to the pediatricians office. I wanted to have Landry checked out again before the weekend so I could rest easier. After I got back we ate lunch and later in the afternoon I left Landry with Mike and went to Hand Works. It is a place where vendors mainly from the south and mainly MS come and sell their handcrafted items. There are some beautiful hand painted things, ceramics, food items, children's clothing, picture frames and many other items. There are some really talented people here and that place really showcased many of them. I bought a few things but mainly just spent the time enjoying a few hours to myself. I also ran into some of my friends who own Crossroads Pottery. I met them a few years ago and I loved their work. I had them make crosses for me to give out as thank-you's for all of the kindness that was shown to me when I lost Sophie. They made me them special for me and put her name on the back. I loved how they turned out and I was very proud to give them in her honor. They are just really good people and I always enjoy seeing them.

When I got home, we got the Bug down and Mike and I went to dinner at AJ's on the Lake. It was fabulous and I just wanna tell you, if you live here in MS, you really need to go check out there new restaurant. It is not even in the same league as their old one and the decor looks like it stepped out of a magazine. I would put it up against any restaurant in Vegas, New York or LA. It is that beautiful and stylish. Their service was top notch and they really produce some fantastic food. It was a great birthday dinner. To top off the evening Mike bought me the mother load of photographic software. It is called CS4 and it just came out. It will take my images to another level...now I just have to get another degree so I can figure out how to use it! It was a complete and total surprise since I told him that I wanted to get the lens I bought a month ago for my early birthday. I wasn't expecting anything but a card and a little happy from the Bug. Out of all the great presents I received and how great the events were leading up to my birthday, the greatest gift I got was spending my first birthday with the most wonderful child I could have ever dreamed of. I feel so blessed to have such a beauty both inside and out. She makes me feel both young and old but in the best possible way. This picture is of me and Landry on my 38th birthday.

Landry's 1st x-rays

One of the funniest things in Landry's short life happened today. I decided that I wanted her to have a chest x-ray just to make sure she didn't have pneumonia so today we ventured out to the radiologist. When I got there and we headed back, the x-ray tech looked at Landry and said 'You aren't going to like me very much in a minute.' I wasn't very amused and asked her why. She went in to telling me how the procedure had Landry strapped into this machine and that I was going to have to put a lead apron on and hold her arms over her head and blow into her face. She said that all babies cry but that it doesn't hurt. She handed me a gown and left. I changed her into her gown and called Mike immediately. I needed a little moral support because from the looks of that contraption they were going to put her in I just knew that she wasn't going to be happy AT ALL! She had to sit in this hole in the middle of this table and then this Plexiglas cylinder wrapped around her and a leather strap secured her head in place. Well, I guess I was wrong....she laughed the entire time! The tech said through the wall "I KNOW she is NOT laughing!' I was just cracking up at her. I took this picture from my Blackberry so the quality isn't great but you get the idea. That kid of mine is just a smile a minute....even when she's sick. She makes my heart smile.

The Croup
...or the crud as I call it. Landry wasn't feeling too well yesterday so I decided that I was going to take her to the doctor today. She was in good spirits last night so I didn't think anything of it until 4 am and she was a miserable wreck. She was feverish and so stopped up. At 4:05 we had her in the bathtub trying to cool her down. She fell back a sleep for a little while so I got showered and dressed and we had her at the pediatricians office when the doors opened. We spent the better part of the morning getting her treated for what we found out to be the croup. She got poked, prodded, took a Decadron shot and two nebulizer treatments. Her chest was just a mess. After the second treatment we noticed a difference in her breathing so we went home with prescriptions in hand. After she woke up from her afternoon nap, she was very congested and very unhappy. I called the doctor back and they could hear her erratic breathing over the phone. They told me to come back and to be prepared to be admitted to the hospital. I went into panic mode. I thought about my friend Theresa and her ordeal with Audrey last week and I just went pale. I packed a bag and headed back to her office. Fortunately, the RSV test we took earlier came back negative and while her breathing was labored, she felt like she could take nebulizer treatments at home to see if that would help instead of being admitted. So for the next 24 hours, Landry will get a treatment every 4 hours around the clock. Sounds like a fun night for Mama, huh? Anyway, there are some really great things that she has done the last few days. I will post a video and the story tomorrow. Right now I am going to straighten up this place and head to bed. I gotta be up in 3 hours to play nurse to my sweet baby.

LBS
I have to mention a few comments I have had since I posted that picture of me on Santa's lap. I have heard everything from 'You don't look any thing like you did back then!' to 'Wow! I can't believe how skinny you've gotten!' Now I know I was no delicate flower about this time last year but was I THAT big?! I have to admit I did gain over 40 lbs with Landry..okay 45 but who's counting? I was dead set in getting it off and fortunately, I didn't have too much trouble. When I had Sophie I had no interest in working on getting it off because it was my hope that I would be putting it back on pretty quickly. I only gained 23 lbs with her so it wasn't that hard to lose. I am proud to say that now I am almost the same weight I was in college. My 20th high school reunion is in June so I have a final goal in mind for then. Not just my weight but my fitness level. I feel so out of shape with the exception of the 21lb.8oz. curls I do several times a day, I really don't exercise much these days. I do get quite the workout with her but don't ask me to lug her up the and down the stairs more than a couple of times. I just feel YUK that my cardiovascular side stinks so much. My friend Pam runs every morning and when I see trotting through the neighborhood, I feel so lazy. She makes me tired just watching her! Anyway, I am going to try very hard to maintain during this holiday season allowing myself a few special days that I can splurge. How about you?

Miss Fancy Pants

I don't know about you, but I think little Miss Fancy Pants is pretty darn cute.

And oh so sassy!

11 months
I can't believe that Landry is already 11 months old! It actually happened on Monday but my super long blog entry could not take one more word.
I am in party planning mode now. Actually, I have been planning her birthday party since July but whose keeping track?! I just got her invitations in yesterday and they will go out sometime later this week. I am very excited about her(my) party. They say that the first birthday party isn't really about the kid...it's about the parents...or in this case I have to admit, me. I want for her everything that I didn't have and more. Mike gently reminded me that she wasn't getting married. :) If you know anything about me then you know I love to throw a good party. I have never been one to say no to helping for an event and this one is going is no exception....it is going to be grand! I'll give you a hint by saying it's going to be a Winter ONE-derland! As I plan this out I find myself excited and at the same time a little sad. Where did all the time go? Where is my little squeaker...my little blob that just laid there and didn't move. I'll tell you where she is. She just ran over me with her cute new boots! She is not walking anymore. She is running....literally. She knows where her nose and her ears are and sometimes where her head is and she just gets smarter and smarter every day. She is so amazing to me.

BTW...my friend Theresa's daughter Audrey is in the hospital tonight with pneumonia. Please pray for her and her family as they get through this ordeal. She had a fever of 106.8 the other night and it finally dropped to 103. She needs prayer so please be thinking of this little girl as she recovers from this. Thanks...r

Where does the time go?!
Okay...I have been a bad blogger. I want to play catch up ONE more time and then resume my regularly scheduled blogging. Since my last post I have been very busy and very sick! Last Wednesday night Mike and I went to the Preview Party for Mistletoe Marketplace. We went with our good friends Sid and Cerissa and we had a blast. It is the largest fundraiser that the Junior League of Jackson holds every year and it funds most of the projects we have in the community. For those of you who don't know what it is, it is a shopping extravaganza! Over 150 vendors from all over the country come to Jackson to sell their stuff. There is something for everyone there and we raise almost $1 million dollars. On Thursday, a friend of mine from high school came to visit me. Theresa and her sweet daughter Audrey came and we had a great visit. We had a nice lunch on Friday and then headed to Mistletoe where we shopped and shopped. We headed back home and got Landry and Audrey for Pictures with Santa. Landry did great! We have the best Santa year after year at Mistletoe. He comes from Ohio (I think) and he never disappoints. I took the photos with Santa last year so I had my photo taken with him last too...what a difference a year makes.

We left out on Saturday morning and headed to see Bama play LSU. The was not before we made a pit stop to the doctors office so I could get a Rocephan shot. I wasn't feeling very well and I almost canceled on the whole trip but I decided to go anyway. I am really glad I went because it was the best game I have ever been to. I almost had a heart attack...like 4 times...during the game but we prevailed and won it in over time. We tailgated with some friends who are LSU fans and had a great time. They had quiet the set up with a big motor home and a HUGE blow up projection TV screen. They had it catered with boiled shrimp and gumbo. It was a great day and a great win. Roll Tide! After the traffic cleared up a little, we headed down to New Orleans. We were absolutely beat but hungry so after we checked in we hit Bourbon Street and got some thing to eat. It is always fun to people watch in New Orleans. There are some real characters there and always something to see. After we got back to the room at a respectable 12:15 am we both passed out and didn't get up until 10 the next morning! I didn't realize how badly I needed the sleep until we woke up the next morning. We had a little lunch and headed to the Barnharts to get the Bug. On the way home, we stopped by the Fuel Stop in Manchac and picked up some fresh shrimp right off the boat. There is nothing better than fresh Gulf shrimp! We never dreamed that we would be able to go and do some of the things we have done since we don't have family close. The Barnharts (aka Momo and Paw Paw) have been so good to us and they absolutely love Landry. We know that she is in the best of care when she is with them.
All in all we had a great week. I had a good friend come visit, watched Alabama win and ate good food and Landry got a new pair of boots! How much better does it get than that!? Theresa, thank you for coming and bringing that sweet girl of yours. Bella misses her! Momo and PawPaw, thank you for taking such great care of our girl. She loves you and knows how much you love her.

Now....back to my regularly scheduled blogging.