Sick
I hate being sick and I really hate being a sick Mama. I used to be able to just get through it and forget about it but I have found it doesn't quite work that way when you have a little person. I hate it more for her than I do for myself because she just doesn't understand why I can't do some of the things I always do for her. I am supposed to be invincible and bulletproof. I hate to see that look of want from her for me and not be able pick her up or spend time with her. It's heart breaking. I want to always be the person she can count on for any and everything and she just didn't understand this week. I am feeling a little better but I still have a few days left to shake it. I spent the day with her today but I tried not to get too close to her(how hard was that?!). I was looking through my baby album today and I came across this picture of me. When I asked Landry who it was, she pointed to herself and said 'Laaaandry' (actually pronounced Yaaandwee!). She really does look like me but when I look at the pictures that look the most like her now at 16 months, I was 2.5 years old. When I got to the U.S., I was 17 months and weighed 14 lbs. She weighed that at 4 months! Mother always told me that I looked like a 6 month old baby that could run. I can't imagine what that looked like!
On a much happier note, Mike made Winners Circle which means a trip to Hawaii for us! I am so proud of him. It is such an accomplishment to make Winners Circle because that meant he tiered the top 11% in the country. I am looking forward to a wonderful trip and more importantly watching him get rewarded for a hard year. Congrats Sweetie!

Behind
I am so behind. On my blog posts, on my chores, on my paperwork, on my photo editing. I am pretty much behind on everything except where Landry is concerned. She gets so much of my attention that some things end up going by the way side. She is growing up so fast that I find my sense of balance shift at the drop of a hat just so I can keep up with her. I refuse to miss a thing because she is changing and growing at warp speed. Her personality cannot be beat. She is funny, sweet, charming, loving, strong-willed and just plain wonderful. I can't imagine being any more in love with this child but to my utter surprise I fall harder each and every day. Bliss I tell you...pure bliss.
Today, we took Landry on her first trek to the golf course. We played alternate shot and had such a great time. She seemed to love being out there and even more, she enjoyed the vroom vroom. This is what she calls riding in the golf cart. She is obsessed with it. She wants to go every day...so she does. Sometimes it's a few times a day and she thinks she is something else. I look at her and think about how completely different our lives were growing up. She may be an only child and I was one of 6. We didn't have a lot of money...at all...and she is fortunately not going to have to worry about many of the same things I did. The things I worried about should never be issues for her. My only issue with her not having to struggle too much is the character development that I truly believe comes with dealing with life's challenges. I believe that there is a level of character that is instilled when you really have to work hard for something. I never had anything really handed to me and I would like to believe that moving through those obstacles gave me the resilience and fortitude to persevere. I believe that gratitude is incredibly important and that it is instilled in her from a very early age. She does a great job of saying thank you and please EVERY time she wants or receives something. It makes me so proud of her when I hear those words come from her sweet little mouth. I don't want her to ever have to struggle but at the same time, I think that there are opportunities for growth that only come with them. What's a mama to do? I guess I will let things progress as they are meant to and if there is a time where I believe that she needs some 'character development' I will address it then. Until such time, I will spoil her rotten just to the point where she realizes it. I promise to do better on the blogging front.

Flashback
When I was deciding on what Landry would wear for Easter I had intended on making her a beautiful gown on baby blue. I had all of the material and lace all ready to go. I went to her closet and realized that there was a beautiful gown with her initials already smocked in the collar and decided that would be a better option since it was already made. As I was looking I stumbled upon the one and only piece of clothing I have from my childhood. It is a traditional Aoi Dai. I wore it when I was 2 years old. When I saw it I took it off the hanger and looked it over. I slipped it on Landry it barely fit her and she is only 16 months old! I kept thinking about it and I made a decision that even surprised me. I decided that Landry needed to wear my gown on Easter. No, it wasn't the typical southern Easter dress full of fine fabrics and hand sewn lace as I had always envisioned her in. It was a piece of my history and a piece of my past. I loved seeing her in that gown. It was so cute on her and it really was a hit at church. She had such a great time. Enjoy some of my favorite shots from a most glorious day!

Where do I start?
My life has been such a whirlwind lately. I don't even know where to start and do I dare to even try to catch up on this blog in one post?! I am going to give it a try but forgive me if I can't keep my eyelids open to complete the task. We left last Monday and headed for Augusta. My friend Ken Duke was playing in his first appearance and we were excited to see him. We followed him around while he played with Vijay Singh in FREEZING cold temperatures but it was worth it. I was able to take my camera on the two practice round days so I have some really great images from the trip. On Wednesday, we went to the Par 3 tournament and we saw every great golfer on tour. I witnessed Gary Player make a hole in one on #9 and watch the crowd erupt into the biggest roar. He was playing with Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus. How much better does it get than that?! Augusta National is truly one of the most divine places on earth. It is so beautiful and pristine. Even with thousands of people there, you get this sense of a peace and tranquility just by being there. It was a privilege that I will not soon forget. The weather for the next two days could not have been better. Ken made the cut and hung around for the weekend. We left after Thursdays round and drove 8 hours back to Jackson. The next morning, I anxiously awaited for my Buggins to be delivered back to me(thank you Momo and PawPaw!) and I just cried when I got her back in my arms. I missed her so much! I was kind of surprised at my emotion but it felt so good to smell her smell and hug her sweet little body. It was like Augusta on my own front porch....HEAVEN! I worked to get the house ready for my Easter company. Mike's sister Wendy and her husband and daughter came from Virginia for a visit. We haven't seen her since Sophie died so it was nice to catch up and see each other. Haley roved herself to be quite the artist. She has an amazing talent for drawing. She is only 9 years old and can absolutely knock it out of the park with her art. My nephew Ben also came over and we all visited for a while. They took off to go visit Mike's mom for a while and we ended up going down to Crystal Springs for a crawfish boil. Later that night I found myself in a bidding war at a bake sale over an orange pineapple cake that Momo made. I was determined to get that cake until the guy I was bidding against showed me up with a $150 bid!! I thought all was lost until I struck a deal with him. I offered to make a $75 donation to the church if he would let me take that cake and if Jadeen, aka Momo, would make him another one. He agreed to let me have it for the donation so everyone was happy! It is sooooo good! I think I got the best end of that deal and the money went to a great cause. The next morning was Easter and I was so excited to have Landry participate in her first real Easter egg hunt. The fun begins!! One of the big topics of conversations surrounding Landry was what I was going to have her dressed in for Easter. I had a beautiful hand smocked gown that I hand made for her to wear. I woke up one night thinking about this gown I have and I just couldn't get it off my mind. It is the only thing I have from my childhood. It is a traditional Vietnamese Aoi Dai. I went to Landry's room and pulled it from the closet and it fit her. Perfectly. I thought to myself...this is the only time in her life that she will be able to wear this dress and it is a special day for us so I went with it. I scrapped the traditional fine hand sewn southern dress for a 38 year old gown made from scrap material and aged snaps. I absolutely loved it on her and so did everyone else. I was so happy with my decision and I thought she was as cute and sweet as she could be. Finally, we came home after service and I finished cooking the Easter dinner for our family. There were 6 adults, 1 child and a sleepy Landry. I served quite a spread and there was more than enough food to spare. After we ate, I passed out and took a nap. I was absolutely beat. I really needed the rest and I felt so much better when I woke up. I bought Haley an Easter bunny house to assemble and Ben and I helped her put it together. We laughed the whole way through it. We affectionately called it the Whitfield House. We also dyed Easter eggs and finished the evening off with a Wii marathon. It was so much fun to laugh and cut up with everyone. Great Easter memories for all!
Today, I woke up and Mike cooked us all breakfast before he headed out to work. As always, he cooked up a feast and we ate yet again! Since it rained so hard yesterday and Wendy wanted to go visit Sophie's grave, we opted to wait until today to go visit her. I was pretty sad about it but there wasn't anything I could do. We went today and we really had a great visit there. I am physically pained less and less with each day that passes. I am so grateful to God that he heals broken hearts and has been working so hard on mine. My moment closest to Christ and probably the most difficult of the weekend was when I took Landry to the altar as the children flowered the cross. I was standing up there and all of the sudden they started playing 'Jesus Loves Me'. I felt my chest tighten and my heart drop. The last time I heard that song in that same way was when I was telling my child good-bye at her funeral. I wasn't sure I was going to make it through it but somehow Landry helped me persevere. She has that effect of me. Whew! I think I have covered most of the last week but nothing could have prepared me for the love I felt for my child, my family and my God this beautiful Easter season. Thank you God for giving us your son and for loving us the way only you can.

The Masters

We are headed out to Augusta tomorrow for 3 days at the Masters! I am so excited because Mike has never been and it is something that was on his 'bucket list'. The Masters is a special event because it preserves the true integrity of the game of golf. They are very strict at Augusta but in a good way. There are no commercial endorsements there at all. The grounds are pristine and manicured beyond perfection. The one thing I love (and hate) about golf is that it challenges you mentally far more than it does physically because it's not a sport you can master. I have been a golfer for a long time and I truly love the game. I really hope that Landry will come to love it and that we can play as a family one day. Mike and I even had a golf tournament when we got married called the Mader Cup! It won't be for a while but we'll have her a set of clubs before you know it. In the mean time, I'll leave you with one of my new favorite pictures. She was really excited when we shook the tree and told her it was snowing. Some of the white petals flew into the air and she was just elated. She even stopped blowing her bubbles! On a sweet note, today, she looked at me and said 'Mama, some juice please!' I said ok..what else would you like? She promptly answered " Down and fish please." In other words, I want down and I would like some juice and goldfish, please. And yes, I did get a 'tain tu' ---aka thank you when I delivered.

Manners are FREE
This has been the longest I have gone without a post. I think the one about my Mother really wore me out. On a happier note, my Daddy is being honored by having a room in a building at the Army base in Ft Knox, KY. He was the Adjutant General there when I was about 5. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments. He hasn't been in the Army for 25 years so for them to honor him now is pretty special. I have to get them some pictures of him so they can display them. I can't wait to see it!
So much as happened in the last few weeks. I don't know where to start. Landry astounds me every day. She is really talking up a storm and has over 200 words in her vocabulary now. She is starting to put 2 and 3 word sentences together and is starting to really understand concepts like in/out, up/down, and on/off. She can tell you just about anything she wants or thinks and I know I'm a proud Mama but dang she is smart! One of the things that makes me the most proud is that she is starting to learn some really important manners and while I know that she might not completely understand why she is saying 'Thank you' (or Tan tu) she says it without prompting almost every time someone does something for her or gives her something. She's been saying it for quite a while but I still get a thrill when I hear it come out of her sweet little mouth. She ALWAYS says 'please' when she asks for something. I think that one of the most important things that you teach your children is manners and respect for one another. They are paramount to having happy, successful relationships and they are FREE! I want Landry to always show her gratitude for whatever it is that is done or given to her her. She is off to a great start and I couldn't be more pleased. When anyone hears her say 'Thank you' I get the best reactions from them. It reinforces what she is learning and establishes a life long lesson of gratitude.
Her latest obsession is her life jacket. I bought her one so we can have it when we go to Parish Weekend with the church. I wanted to make sure she had one in case we go on the paddleboats. There are 4 clasps that hold the jacket on and she quickly figured out how to fasten them together. She will sit there as long as I will and snap them together. She asks for more 'please' when she gets them done and she goes to town again. She'll do that for an hour! I get so much joy out of seeing her learning and being so proud of herself for her accomplishments. Her motor skills are really good for a 15 month old.
I had a day of mini-sessions in Crystal Springs, did a portrait sitting that will go on the Methodist Childrens Homes Easter Card. They are sending out 15,000 of them and they all have my logo and info on the back. Hopefully, I'll get some business from that. I just loved the children I shot for it. They were small miracles and it made me realize just how blessed the Mader family is. Those two children were a beautiful example of God working through His servants. I hope they stay with their foster family and eventually become their 'forever family'. I would have taken them home in a heart beat! They are loved and so happy now. I pray that God continues to keep them safe and blessed.
On a final note, we have a big trip planned! It is a trip Mike had on his 'bucket list' and I was able to make it happen for him. I can't wait!! I'll detail more in my next post!