Maderville

Celebrate Life

~"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

Out of the blue today, this quote popped on my computer screen. I wasn't looking for it and I certainly didn't know what to think when I read it. Was it a sign? Was it a message straight from God? Yep...I know it was. I have seen many things along this healing journey that has helped me through to the next day. This quote will keep my heart safe for the rest of my life because I know how true it is. Sometimes you just have to see it written down. I needed it and God knew it. I kept thinking that all of those wonderful, beautiful days I have had with Landry would make my pain go away. For the most part, it absolutely has. It makes me know how blessed I am to be the Mother I was meant to be. It is the single greatest assignment that God has ever given me. She makes it so easy for me to have a sense of self worth and pride in my ability to raise her. Does that make sense? She gives me a sense of fulfillment that only comes from raising a child. She excels in ways that I never dreamed a child could. So many times, I hear people tell me how beautiful she is. What they don't know is that her heart is far more beautiful than her face. Her personality is far sweeter than those beautiful lips of hers and her compassion teaches me lessons every day. All this in the tiny body of a 15 month old. I love all these things and so many more about her. What it also reminds me of is the child I miss....the child that I delivered 3 short yet very long years ago. I miss my Sophie and no matter how much joy Landry brings me, that isn't going to change. I guess I assumed(hoped) that I would be instantly healed from my pain when we brought Landry in to this world but it doesn't work that way. I will always be the mother of two very special girls but I have to wait and see just how special my first born was. I know one day I will have that completeness I long for but it will be a while. For now, I have a very important job to do here on earth and there isn't anything more I would rather do. I miss you Sophie, more and more every day. Thank you for looking after your baby sister. You are doing a great job. I love you, baby girl and I can't wait till we meet again. Love, Momma